EXPECTATIONS – A TRAGIC CONSEQUENCE?
This week I want to discuss further the consequence of wrong expectations with a specific focus. When Jesus taught His disciples to pray He said, ““when you pray, say: “Father””. Jesus referred to God as His father and tells us that God is also our father. This creates a great difficulty for many people.
Here I would remind that Jesus declared the devil to be a liar, indeed “the Father of lies”. (John 8:44) He is a deceiver who has come to, “steal, kill and destroy”. (John 10:10a). Please remember that the devil does all this out of hatred for God and what is God’s. As God’s children the devil attacks us because he cannot touch God in any other way. His scheme is to separate us from Father God.
An issue that has caused and continues to cause very deep pain, anger, bitterness, un-forgiveness and emotional struggle, is fatherlessness! Our experiences with our biological fathers, or those who have represented a father to us has resulted in many people having a severely distorted view of fathers. It is a scheme of the devil that is very effective with devastating results.
God’s original plan for fathers was for them to be providers, protectors and the one to bless their children and family. A child’s identity is very much moulded by the words and actions of their fathers. There is the power of life and death in the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) Unfortunately the reality is there is no perfect earthly father.
A great tragedy is that many fathers have caused great harm to their children, some through ignorance, but others from their own bad experiences. There are many different causes of this, which can vary from what seems insignificant to extreme abuses that could be categorized as evil.
A child of an absent father (this can be physically through work, or emotionally through disinterest) will often feel unwanted, unloved and may seek acceptance through others that may take advantage of their desire for affection and love. This vulnerable state can lead to them being inappropriately treated (abused) by the third party, which then leads to a distorted view of love and affection. The consequence of this for both males and females is significantly detrimental.
The outcomes will vary from person to person, but will include fear of authority, fear of or mistrust of men, low self esteem (and worse), issues with identity, performance and acceptance. Often the abused will become the abuser, and may eventually perpetrate the same type of abuse they were exposed to. At the very least people end up with what is termed an “orphan Heart”.
The desire to protect oneself from further rejection, pain or abuse, results in people building an internal wall that keeps people (and God) at a safe distance. The only solution to this is the healing power Father God provides through the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the counsel of the Holy Spirit, the word of God being believed and embraced, and time.